The Journey is all Mine

I was a sophomore in high school taking an American History class. One day, during a conversation before class, my teacher mentioned that she was 30 years old. I distinctly remember thinking, Wow, 30! Now that's old!

Well, 15 years later here I am on the cusp of turning 30.

I know it may be cliche to say, but I have no idea when this happened. Two minutes ago I was in high school working a part time job at Chick-fil-A. My only bills were a car payment and the money I spent at the mall and the movies.

This morning I woke up a married mother of two with more bills than I have room to list.

Once upon a time I was going to be a hard hitting reporter for the New York Times. I was going to be living in a pint-sized apartment in New York, staring in my own version of "Sex and the City". Then, I decided I was going to be a high school history teacher, changing the world and molding minds one adolescent at a time.

I spent the holiday weekend catching up on laundry and cleaning the house, and I was thrilled to accomplish both.

I know I am not where my 15 year old self thought I would be by the time I was 30. But, what did I know at 15? I did not know how much work it takes to have a healthy marriage (Thanks, Cinderella!). I did not know what it was like to stay up all night with a sick baby. I did not know what being truly "tired" was. I did not understand how hard my parents worked to give us everything we needed.

In the last 15 years I have had some of my highest highs and lowest lows. I have watched my parents get divorced while I planned my wedding. I have been there for births and deaths. I have gone from discussing divorce to planning my vow renewal.

It has been hard, exhilarating, tiresome, scary, exciting, and mine. The journey has been mine and I am proud of where I have been. I am proud of where I am at now. So, to my 15 year old self I say, dream. Dream everyday of what you want to do with your life and who you want to become. Work towards your goals but do not be surprised by the surprises, because there will be many, many surprises along the way. Learn from your mistakes, because you will repeat them until you do. Love hard because people leave, sometimes forever. Don't let the choices of others determine your path, and forgive. Always, always forgive.

I may not be where I thought I would be at 30 and I may not have accomplished many of the goals I had set for myself all those years ago, but I am right where I am meant to be and I cannot be upset by that.

When I was 15 I thought I needed to conquer the world to make a difference. At 30 I have learned that I make a difference everyday in the lives of the people who make up my world.

That lesson alone is worth turning 30 for.