Taking It All In

After I had Autumn several of my friends asked if I missed being pregnant or wished I still was. My answer was always, "No, because we plan on having one more, so I will get to experience it again." Looking back at my first pregnancy, I feel like I wished most of it away. Meaning, when I was in the first trimester I wished I was in the second because that trimester isn't as scary, and I would start showing, and get some of my energy back. When I was in the second trimester I wished I was in the third because I would be that much closer to meeting my baby. By the time I was in the third trimester, most of my pregnancy was over and all I could concentrate on was figuring out how I was going to take care of this baby. 

This go around I have been trying to be present for every aspect of this pregnancy. Not to say that that has always been easy. During the first trimester I did find myself eagerly waiting for the second, because it is less scary and I am always waiting for the day when I will hold this baby, but overall I have tried to remain in the moment. 

This will be our last baby (assuming there are not any surprises!) and that has been in the back of my mind. I am trying to memorize the sound of that heartbeat and the feeling of hearing it for the first time. I am trying to slow down to make sure that I feel every kick, hoping to always remember that unique feeling. I have stopped weighing myself and am just enjoying my growing belly. The weight will come off, but a baby bump is something that I will never have again. 

It is so easy to get lost in our day to day lives. The pick ups and drop offs, work and school. Just going through the motions and trying to get everything done. It is so easy to forget that this day will never be here again, the experiences happening in these moments will never happen again. It is so easy to take life and time for granted. I am trying to be conscience of this and live in the moment, both through this last pregnancy and in my life. I want to be able to say "I lived through that" not "I raced through that".