Time to Refocus

I know I am not alone in saying that the four weeks that make up December are a challenge for me.  I feel like I have things fairly under control the other 11 months out of the year, for the most part, but December - December is my arch nemesis.

The craziness that is Christmas preparation is compounded by the fact that we also throw a birthday into the mix. Nate was born 6 days before Christmas. His due date was actually January 3rd but he had other plans. So, instead of my little New Year baby I got the best Christmas present I have ever received - and a little added holiday stress.

Did I mention that this year, we also thought that taking a trip to Disney World in the middle of the month would be a great idea? Who doesn't love seeing Disney decked out for the holidays? We can fit it in - how hard can it be? That is my June self talking - my December self did not agree.

Steve asked me many times throughout the month - what I can scratch off my list? The problem was there wasn't much I was willing to budge on. We had three big events happening in three weeks and I wanted to make sure that each one was as special and memorable for my children as possible.

I had a moment of reflection on Christmas Day. All of the presents had been opened, our Christmas breakfast had been eaten and everyone was enjoying an afternoon nap - except me. I was laying on the couch thinking back over my month, over my year, really. I had made it through. All of the stress, all of the worry, all of the lists - and sandwiched in the middle of it all, was all of the joy.

Nate's face covered in cupcake icing as our family and friends sang "Happy Birthday" to him.
The way his little voice sounds when you ask him how old he is.
The look of awe on Autumn's face as Elsa shared some of her glittery makeup.
Nate's reaction to seeing Cinderella's castle for the first time.
Riding Big Thunder Mountain with my nieces.
Nate standing in the hallway on Christmas morning - taking his first look at the tree and only being able to muster the words "Santa!" "Santa!" "Santa!" over and over again.
Watching Steve prepare homemade biscuits - and then devouring said biscuits.

These are just a few of those gems of joy. The month  year is littered with them. As I reflected back I realized there is way more love and joy shared then anything else - so it only makes sense for that to be my focus. Not the stress, the worry that all the things won't get done, the never ending lists - my focus should be the joy it all brings. In the end, it will all get done and if it doesn't, there's always next year.

This year I am focusing on the joy.