The Big T-W-O!

Two years ago I was walking out of the hospital with my newborn daughter. I remember it was cold and raining out. She was so little and so fragile and I was so afraid. Afraid of not holding her right, or feeding her at exactly the right moment. Afraid that I would never ever sleep again or how our dogs were going to react to her when we got home. But most of all, I remember being afraid to be her Mama.

Would I be patient enough? I'm not. Would I always have the right thing to say? I don't. Would I know exactly what to do at every turn in every situation? No one does.

The fear of the responsibility that came with this little creature was enormous. She was a clean slate and it was our job to mold and guide her into being the best person we could. So, I put my fears of failure aside and got to molding. In the two years since Autumn has been born, I think I have been molded, changed and have learned more than she has. I have learned that I am way more like my own Mom than I ever knew. I have learned that macaroni and cheese on the floor is OK, the dogs will eat it anyway. I have learned to slow down and read about the adventures of Elmo and Mickey Mouse. I have re-discovered the magic of Disney movies and what it is like to have a princess as your friend. I have learned that a simple kiss will make any boo-boo better and how much fun a game of hide and seek before bath and bed can be.   

The little, helpless infant that we walked out of the hospital with is now, officially, a two year old. She has the brightest, bluest eyes I have ever seen and long blonde hair that flips up when it hits her shoulders. She loves to have her nails and toes painted. Feeding and making sure her baby dolls have their pacifiers keeps her busy. If you ask her how old she is, she will tell you four and that her favorite color is green. She still hangs out with Mickey, Minnie, Elmo, and Blue but has recently been introduced to Cinderella and the "doggys and kitties" in Lady and the Tramp. She is stubborn, silly, loving and independent. She is a handful and she is all mine.

In the last two years I have learned that we are not going to have all of the answers and we are going to mess up and that's OK. When I look at Autumn I know that she trusts us to make the best decisions for her, we just have to trust ourselves.

Thank you Autumn, for coming into this world two years ago, and making me your Mama.