What I wish I could tell her.

10 years ago I was 23 years old. Steve and I had been married for 3 years, had no children, and were going through a bit of a "rough patch". We were young and stubborn and trying to change each other instead of working together. There would be several years of head banging, clenched fists, eye rolling and crying before we got the "working together" part down - and truth be told - we're still working on it.

Oh, what I would love to tell that 23 year old now.

I would start by taking her down a notch or two. Believe it or not, with all of the life experience that 23 years has awarded you, you don't know everything. You're not even close. I would tell her to stop making the good people around her pay for the sins of the bad people who were once there. It's not their debt to pay.

I would talk to her about the importance of forgiveness. I would reassure her that forgiving someone does not make what they did OK but it takes away the hold that anger has over you.

I would break it to her, gently, that she is not going to get that bachelor's degree in Education that she's working towards. I would confess that it is a regret she will carry with her but that hopefully she will find other ways to teach in this world.

I would tell her, with tears streaming down my cheeks, to hug her Uncle and Grandfather a little tighter the next time she sees them.

I would laugh as she tells me how tired and overwhelmed she is, juggling her part time job and full school schedule. I would tell her to just wait - and enjoy her naps.

I would ask her what she and Steve would want when they are ready to have children - boys or girls? I would smile as she tells me one of each, a boy first and then a little girl, knowing that she will get exactly what she's meant to have.

I would warn her that pregnancy is not easy for her and it is going to challenge her mentally, physically and emotionally. I will try to get her to relinquish control now.

I would tell her that being a mother will be the most tiring, challenging, heart breaking, rewarding, selfless, magical thing she will ever do in her lifetime.

And while we are talking about that I would tell her to call and thank her mother.

I would tell her not to worry too much about her sisters, they'll be just fine. Dad will come around too. And one day she'll even get a brother and he'll be pretty rad.

I would ask her, if she thinks back, who was the greatest friend she's had? I will tell her not to cry, some things are even better the second time around.

I would tell her to pray more and worry less. That there are lessons she is meant to learn and it would cause her a lot less heartache if she would get it the first time around.

I would remind her that experiences are so much better then material things. I would ask her to be nicer to herself - she will never have that pre-pregnancy body again.

I would tell her to appreciate Steve. He is a good man who loves her. And he is the kind of father that makes you want to be a better mother.

Most of all, my young 23 year old self, I would tell you to breathe. You are so much stronger then you know and a bad day is just that - a day - you are lucky enough to get to try again tomorrow. Please remember that.